Christina Ricci smoke

On being the ugly girl

He said you're really an ugly girl, but I like the way you play.

This post is inspired by a conversation I had last night with bobcatgoldfish. I don't respond well to being told I'm pretty/beautiful/even vaguely normal looking. I frequently claim to be "freaky" or "weird" looking and don't expect people to respond with "No you don't..." I have this whole defense mechanism built up in terms of my appearance. People trying to tell me I'm not "freaky looking" usually results in a rant something like:

"Yes I am. I'm not conventionally attractive. I have a big nose, crooked teeth and I look like a rat. I'm coming to terms with my freakishness. People like to take photos of me because I have an interesting face, not because it's 'pretty.'"

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If anyone responds to this post with "You're not ugly! You're pretty!" I may need to disown them as a friend. This is not my way of seeking compliments. It's just some thoughts.
Devil Doll

Serious friends cut

As you all know, this journal is very important to me. This, and my old journal, have, for the last six or seven years provided me with something I don't get in the real world. This journal offers me a place to vent when frustrated or angry, a place to go celebrate when I'm happy, a place to reveal secrets, a place away from reality.

This journal is like the princess castle I imagined for myself as a child, the imaginary friends I spoke to, a safe haven for me to come and hide. Perhaps my favourite thing about this journal is that I am able to control who gets in and who has to stay outside. This means that the people I speak to here are people I have chosen because I feel they have a positive and supportive influence on my life.

The people I allow to see my deepest secrets are the people I trust not to betray me.

Now, onto the point of this post. It has sadly come to my attention that someone on this journal has in fact betrayed my trust by sharing what I have written over the last year or so, with others in the real world who do not normally have access to this journal. I don't know who, I'm not pointing fingers, this isn't a witch hunt, but I am of course deeply upset by this betrayal of my trust, and I feel it necessary therefore to do a friends cut.

At this point, I will be removing a large amount of people, leaving me with a small select group of people I know I can trust. If you are removed, it's absolutely nothing personal - it's just that I've decided to make my entries available to close friends only. Obviously feel free to comment if you have any complaints, but I can't guarantee I'll change my mind - this journal is now for CLOSE FRIENDS ONLY (this includes both close LJ friends and RL friends, so no need to panic if we only know each other online.)

All the best to everyone. I do hope you all appreciate and understand this decision.

x L x
Devil Doll

Friends cut

As the subject suggests, it's time for another friends cut. I know it sounds harsh but this journal has got a lot more personal over the last few months and I would rather have a small group of readers to share things with. Basically I want to narrow my friends list down to people who inspire me, have a positive impact on my life and update/comment at least occasionally.

I'm finding it necessary to filter more and more entries as they get more personal. However, as this journal will most likely continue to be extremely personal, I think it's for the best if the only people on my friends list are people I feel comfortable sharing secrets with. If you're a friend in real life or we talk regularly online, you're in no danger of being cut.

Anyway, let me know if you think you're in danger of being removed and want to be kept, and I'll take it into account when doing the cut. However, if we really have nothing in common, I don't see the point in keeping you on my friends list.

All the best to everyone.

x L x

ETA: The cut has now been made. This entry is now public. If you have been removed from my friends list, please remove me from your own. Any objections may be directed to this entry or my inbox. However, I feel I've explained the decisions I've made quite well. Again, best of luck to everyone.
Devil Doll

(no subject)

This is why I need to go back to work...

I made 50 movie icons.

10xEternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
10xAlmost Famous

Take whatever you want, it would be nice if someone could get use out of my boredom! You know the drill, credit kittywonderland, and comments are <3.

Total Icon Count: 50


TEASER! Icon 008 TEASER! Icon 025 TEASER! Icon 048

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Devil Doll

Sexy ladies

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So there we have it. I think there is a fair representation of size and shape and hair colour there. I tag whoever can be bothered to do it. How about some boys? Give us a different perspective?